My day at the Sprint Store

So the other day I decided to go to the get my cell phone fixed. I went to the Sprint Store and I just really hate the way they falsely advertise. I don’t know why don’t go by their actual title: “Where to go when you want to kill yourself…slowly...and painfully.”

I walked in and I thought there was a reenactment of downtown Baghdad going down. It turned out being a mom and her newborn infant. I mean I didn’t even know something could make such an extensive array of ugly sounds. It was like knives to the ear. Knives with tiny elves holding smaller, sharper knives too. The point is it was bad, people. Real fucking bad.
And I’m just going to throw something our here, I don’t think I’m being extreme when I say I just think there should be a law not allowing mothers and their infants outside of their homes until the child is like 9. That’s being fair, cause initially I was going to say 14.
But I kept my calm, and waited for my turn. Six hours and four meltdowns later, FINALLY I am next. But it turns out ahead of me is the oldest geezer alive. Bitch was olllld. I mean saggy, wrinkly, six hearing aids coming out of each ear old. “so now, how do I end the phone call?’ What?! Are you serious? Fucking go home and read the manual or just die already. For the love of god. But then I felt bad. I mean here I was getting all worked up and taking it out on someone who is obviously weaker than me and obviously struggling with life as it is. That’s just not cool.

So I took a deep breath.
And body slammed the infant and his mom.

Thought people would be thankful, but it didn’t go over too well. Yeah, there’s a Nation Wide sprint store ban on me right now. So if anyone’s good with cell phones, that would be cool.
Or if anyone wants to go egg the sprint store on el camino in san mateo, even better. The eggs and the TP are on my ‘rents. Suuuckers.